Thursday, May 9, 2013

I'm hurt enough

I use to be the girl who would smile at everything and everyone. I use to not care how I looked. That was until you walked into my life. I use to think you loved me but, then you took me and broke me. Now I cry myself to sleep every night and that smile is now just a mask I use to cover up the pain. Now I care how I look every single day. You broke me and I know you don't care.
I see you walking with the girl you replaced me with. You looked at me and you make it looks like we've never met. I looked at you, yes, I see you happy with her. All I can say is I'm Happy for you..those words might come out of my mouth like that, but inside, it kills me how you acts like you don't know me and to see you with someone else.
I don't know how to be the girl you miss, the girl of your dream, future life and the one you would love and take care for a life time. All I know is, I'm a girl that you used to know, you've been used for fun and the only girl who would fall for your foolish bullshit! The girl who could handle all the pain yet screaming inside. What I know is, I'm just a girl who will love you no matter what you've done to me and how much you've hurt me.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

that is me

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way Id be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.
Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you'll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.