i let you go

 Everyone has gone, and somehow your are the only one that come along. You make me calm. And that time i know that you're the only one that i need. That one that would make me forget how hurt i was felt before. The one that would wipe my tears away and put a smile on my face. 

But, no one seems to know, how quickly people change. How quickly they always seems to come and go. 

Ups and down happen and someone had come between us. And you walked so easily. At that time i knew that i would never want to lose you as i knew how hurt it is before. I put my self as an option to be choose. Im begging, im crying and i keep blaming my self  what happen and i trying to understand those reason. You let me down so perfectly. Everytime you say good bye i hope that it would not be the last.

But, at that time when you choose me, i felt that i was the luckiest one. I keep talking to my self that you still love me. Without noticing that actually i force you to stay. I hold you too tight and you does not have chance to make your move. I dont even give you to make an option. All i did is just force you to stay. 

But when this time come. I would never hold you as tight as before. Believing that sometimes let go is best decision make me realize that i would never get all that i want even though i know the one that i want is you. 

nowww, i let you go.

Pulau Perhentian

Okay entry ni just nak cerita pasal short vacay time bulan 3 hari tuh. Actually mmg best pergi perhentian ni. But disebabkan beberapa faktor jd tk best. Kami pergi berlima. Maklum la dah konon2 sem akhir nak spent time sama2 la tuh. Okayy. Kami ambik pakej hanan travelling agency which is cost myr315 Per head. survey pun dkt fb je. Tapi.... hemmm. Really dissapointed. Bila sampai pkcik boat tnya nak kena hnta dkt mna. We told him yellow house and die bt muka! Kami trus tnya dia mcm2 and mmg terus takde mood nk pi sana. Yellow house ni rumah kayu yg terletak di perkampungan nelayan actually. Kat situ kampung bkn tmpt perlancongan. Okay then bila sampai kt jeti ee decide nak tuka tempat. Lama tunggu hanan ni bg kami tuka dkt the reef. Then tunggu boat ambik semua pergi the reef. Discuss pasal bayaran die ambik myr275 ak include makanan. Dalam initary before this bnyak sgt activity sebenarnya. Tapi.....apa yg kami dpt cuma sebuah bilik yg dikongsi berlima. Boat pergi balik and snorkling 3 point. Mahal! Yg lain aktiviti kami buat semua kene tambah duit sendiri. Tambang boat nk ke long beach which may cost up to myr30. Tpi awal2 datang dah kenal dgn abg bwak boat so dpt la murah sikit. Mereka jugak la yang bawak kami bersnorkling sampai 2 hari, pergi tngok sunset, bawak pergi long beach. So, for those planning nk pergi perhentian i prefer korang walk in je. Lagi murah. Seriesly beb. Tapi kalau nak ambik pakej make sure pilih betul2.

Ini romantik beach. Cantik sgt tngok sunset utk ambik gamba. 

Untuk sape yg nk release tensyen pergi sana mmg best. ikan2 kat sana pun cantik. Tapi memory i damaged so tak dapat nk belanja gambar2 ikan. Next time maybe. 

2015

First entry for 2015. Dah lama tak bukak blog ni. Dah lebih setahun dah. Tiba2 terdetik kt hati nk berblog semula. Almost a year dah macam2 jadi, diharungi, pahit manis kehidupan macam2 dah rasa. Tapi diri ini masih lagi gagah dan tabah berjalan walaupun kadangkala langkah teraungkur di tengah jalan. Tidak mengharapkan pelangi utk sentiasa muncul namun percaya setiap kepahitan itu ada manisnya. Mungkin tidak selamanya tapi cukup utk membuat diri ini bahagia. Eceh ayattt. Pagi2 macam ni datang ilham pulak kan. Thats all.

trying not to love you

You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?

But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you 

And this kind of pain, only time takes away
That's why it's harder to let you go 
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you
That's why it's harder to let you 
So I sit here divided, just talking to myself
Was it something that I did?
Was there somebody else?
When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears
Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear
Said, I've been dying 

i'm coming back

Rasa macam dah lama gila tak bukak blog ni. Since belajar kt kelantan mmg jarang sgt bukak.this is all about connection problem. 

Okayyy. First of all assalamualaikum. Banyak sangat cerita cerita yg ialls nak cerita kt ualls sebenarnya tapi masih belum ada masa. Hee. 

Okayyyy

Now dunia digemparkan dgn isu MH370. Dan hari nj dah genap sebulan flight tuh hilang. Mcm2 spekulasi yg keluar. But now i just nk share my opinion. 

1. Dr hari mula2 flight hilang kerajaan keluarkan mcm2 kenyataan. Kejap mcm ni kejap mcm lain okay but now after dorg bt kenyataan ended tuh ada lg tak sidang media ? Mcm dah terkubur je.

2. Kalau ikutkan logik. Negara2 yg maju mcm us australia dorg kan ade peralatan kemain canggih tuh takkan tak boleh nk detect. Kalau betul ended mcm serpihan? 

3. Tak rasa ke mcm ada konspirasi disebalik semua ni?  Ye mmg ade. Tpi sejauh mana konspirasi tuh kite sendiri tak tahu. 

4. Kenapa setiap kali bt press conference datuk Najib tuh tk gunakan bahasa melayu? Kesian kt makcik pakcik kt kampung tuh yg nak tahu berita pasal anak dorg ni. Yang duk agungkan bahasa omputih tuh kenapa? 

5. Harga share dalam MAS turun dgn mendadak. Sehingga 24sen per unit. Fikir tak apa effect ni semua? Hanya dengan kehilangam 1 flight mcm2 effect yg akan jadi sebab apa? Sebab malaysia ni stu kuasa yg kecik je sebenarnya. Tkde lah gah sgt mcm yg kite duk tngok dlm tv 3 tuh. Masih dijajah. Masih ikut telunjuk kuasa asing. 

Kesimpulan sendiri buat penilaian. Masing2 ade pendapat mereka sendiri. 

I'm hurt enough

I use to be the girl who would smile at everything and everyone. I use to not care how I looked. That was until you walked into my life. I use to think you loved me but, then you took me and broke me. Now I cry myself to sleep every night and that smile is now just a mask I use to cover up the pain. Now I care how I look every single day. You broke me and I know you don't care.
I see you walking with the girl you replaced me with. You looked at me and you make it looks like we've never met. I looked at you, yes, I see you happy with her. All I can say is I'm Happy for you..those words might come out of my mouth like that, but inside, it kills me how you acts like you don't know me and to see you with someone else.
I don't know how to be the girl you miss, the girl of your dream, future life and the one you would love and take care for a life time. All I know is, I'm a girl that you used to know, you've been used for fun and the only girl who would fall for your foolish bullshit! The girl who could handle all the pain yet screaming inside. What I know is, I'm just a girl who will love you no matter what you've done to me and how much you've hurt me.

that is me

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way Id be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you'll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

what if i can't forget u

"It’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life’d be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it."

"When you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with the curves of his shoulders. The angles of his collarbones. You fall in love with the colors of his eyes and the softness oh his lips. You fall in love with his cheekbones, you fall in love with every eyelash, every freckle. You fall in love with everything."

jika mencari kesempurnaan itu bukan aku

i've try so may times to win ur heart but until now there is nothing i got. u never appreciate me. never at all. i can't face it anymore. its really hurt !

hope u'll understand dear..:')

Remember when I cried to you a thousand timesI told you everything, you know my feelings
These feelings I can't shake no moreThis feeling's running out the doorI can feel it falling downAnd I'm not coming back around
These feelings I can't take no moreThis emptiness in the bottom drawerIt's getting harder to pretendAnd I'm not coming back around againRemember when
I remember when it was 'Together till the end'Now I'm alone again, where do I begin?I cried a little bit, you died a little bitPlease say there's no regrets and say you won't forget
But I'm not lost and I'm not goneI haven't forgotThat was then, now it's the endI'm not going back, I can't pretend

I've never wanted anyone so bad after I've been hurt by someone until I meet you. Since that you bring back my smile, my laugh and throw away all the tears. You told me to keep on flying and catch my dream even there is so many obstacles in front of me and I did. But suddenly, when everytime I try to fly, I fall...

 Because, you broke one of my wings and I will keep on falling if you didn't catch me. :')

THE THINGS THAT A GUY'S ALWAYS FORGET

I'm just found it while I'm blog walking on someone's blog. Well, actually its just a nice word to shared. So for all dear guys out there, do figured it out. Heart is not a toy that you can play with, its fragile and can turn into the pieces anytime, so stop playing with that.

THE THINGS THAT A GUY'S ALWAYS FORGET

• While you’re ignoring her, another guy is giving her attention.

• While you’re giving her problems, another guy is listening.

• While you're too busy for her, another Guy is making time for her.

• While you're making her cry, another Guy is trying to make her smile again.

• When you're not sure if you still want her, another Guy has already figured it out.

Appreciate what you have before it become what you had.

i don't know what this feeling..

I don't know what this is. I can't explain this feelings. I'm not in love with you. But I want you to be happy. I know I can't always be the one to make you happy, but I would love every single opportunity to be able to.

I want to give you things you've been missing in your life. I want you to know that you always have someone you can truly count on to be there for you whenever you need them. You can depend on me. 

I want to stand by you, no matter what life throws at us, and I'm willing to fight. Because God knows your stubbornness and my stubbornness have gotten us into trouble before, but I want to work through every single conflict with you.

It's impossible to stay mad at you no matter how deeply you've hurt me or disappointed me. I want to care for you like no one else has or ever will, not even your own mother or that girl who left your heart shattered on the ground after after making you happy momentarily. 

You need to know that you can trust me with your secrets, your insecurities, your silly-ness and immaturity, with the important things in your life. I won't judge you,ever. And even if I won't agree with something,it won't make me feel any differently about you. 

You need to know that you can be yourself around me because everyone needs at least one person who they can tear down the walls with and just be themselves-entirely. 

I want to make you feel safe, like you can once again trust the good in people, that there is still hope. That not all seven billions people in this Earth are the same. That someone genuinely does care. 

I want to give everything I have to you and I ask for nothing in return.

I want to help you be the best person you wish to be, and I want to be there for you every step of the way because you're important to me and you matter.

I believe in you. I just want to be your friend. I don't know why I feel this way. but I do...

Is this what love is??  To sacrifice yourself for benefit of others individual?? I don't know about that. But, why do I feel these things for you??

this feeling never felt

You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.— Cecelia Ahern, Love, Rosie

jika dia teman hidupku

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang menjadi pilihan di Lauhul Mahfuz-Mu..
Yakinkan hatiku untuk terus melayari bahtera cinta ini bersamanya.. 

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang akan membimbing di titian sirat-Mu..
Tetapkan rasa redhaku atas segala perbuatannya.. 

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang bakal menjadi peneman di syurga-Mu..
Labuhkan maafku akan segala silapnya..

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang terbaik buat diri di dunia pinjaman-Mu..
Peliharakan kata-kataku daripada menyakiti perasaannya..

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang merupakan jodoh yang diredhai-Mu.. 
Sabarkan diriku untuk menghadapi segala kerenahnya..

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang menjadi rebutan para hamba-Mu..
Tunjukkan aku jalan terbaik untuk menghadapinya...

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang selalu tergoda dengan keindahan ciptaan-Mu..
Kuatkan hatiku untuk terus membimbingnya..

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang sering tewas dengan nafsu yang melalaikan daripada-Mu..
Tabahkan aku untuk memperbetulkan keadaannya..

Ya Allah..
Jika dia teman hidupku yang amat mencintai kesesatan daripada jalan-Mu..
Pandukan jiwaku untuk menyedarkan dia daripada terus terlena..

Ya Allah..
Jika salah aku dalam membuat keputusan..
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan kebenaran..
Jika lalai aku dalam tanggungjawab sebagai teman..
Hukumlah  aku di dunia, bukannya di akhirat yang menyeksakan..
Jika ingkar aku daripada ketaatan..
Tunjuklah aku ke pintu kerahmatan..

Ketahuilah Ya Allah..
Aku hina tanpa pemberian-Mu..
Aku lemah tanpa pimpinan-Mu..
Aku cacat tanpa pertolongan-Mu..
Aku buta tanpa suluhan petunjuk-Mu..
Aku pekak tanpa sebaran wahyu-Mu..
Aku bisu tanpa panduan kalam-Mu..

Kerana sesungguhnya Ya Allah..
Engkau Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untukku..
Engkau Maha Mengampuni atas segala dosa dan khilafku...

seandainya saya isteri kamu yang sah.

seorang isteri menangis2 nak mandikan jenazah suami dia.. bapak mertua dgn polis forensik x bagi.. sambil menangis isteri berkata ini janji kami suami isteri.. jika abang mati dulu kamu (isteri) mandikanlah jenazah abang, Andai kamu (isteri) mati dulu dari abang, abang akan mandikan jenazah kamu.. 

dari luar bilik mayat hospital seorang ustaz masuk tanye ape hal then ustaz tu kate x pe kalau isteri nak mandikan jenazah suami.. ustaz tadi bersama beberapa org lagi temankan si isteri mandikan jenazah suaminya.. 

dengan tenang isteri membasuh muka suaminya sambil berdoa, "Inilah wajah suami yang ku sayang tetapi Allah lebih sayangkan abang.. Moga Allah ampunkan dosa abang dan satukan kite di akhirat nanti.."

membasuh tangan jenazah suami sambil berkata "Tangan inilah yang mencari rezeki yang halal untuk kami, masuk ke mulut kami. moga Allah beri pahala untuk mu suami ku.."

membasuh tubuh jenazah suami smbil berkata "tubuh inilah yg memberi pelukan kasih syg pd ku dan ank2,moga Allah beri pahala berganda untukmu wahai suamiku"

membasuh kaki jenazah suami smbil berkata "dgn kaki ini abang kluar mencari rezeki utk kami, berjalan dan berdiri sepanjang hari semata2 untuk mencari sesuap nasi,terima kasih abang...moga Allah beri kau kenikmatan hidup d akhirat dan pahala yg berlipat kali gandanya"

selesai memandikan jenazah suaminya, si isteri mengucup sayu suaminya dan berkata "trima ksih abang krana aku bahagia sepanjang mnjadi isterimu dan terlalu bahagia dan trima kasih krna meninggalkan aku bersama permata hatimu yg persis dirimu dan aku sbg seorang istri redha akn pemergianmu krna ksih syg Allah s.w.t

seandainya telah tertulis takdir jika aku pergi dahulu dari kamu. aku berdoa supaya Allah memberi peluang kepadaku untuk menjadi isterimu yang sah walau hanya untuk seketika. supaya dapat aku malayari kehidupan sebagai seorang isteri walau untuk 1 hari, 1 jam, mahupun seminit. dan permintaan ku kepadamu supaya kau madikan jenazahku dan aku ingin kau tersenym tanpa iringan air mata dari mu.. kerana aku yakin Allah pasti akan mamberimu kebahagiaan kelak walau aku tiada lagi disisimu. :) 

doa seorang kekasih

Oh Tuhan, seandainya telah Kau catatkan
Dia milikku, tercipta untuk diriku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan

Ya Allah, ku mohon
Apa yang telah Kau takdirkan
Ku harap dia adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau tahu segala isi hatiku
Pelihara daku dari kemurkaanMu

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pemurah
Beri kekuatan jua harapan
Membina diri yang lesu tak bermaya
Semaikan setulus kasih di jiwa

Ku pasrah kepadaMu
Kurniakanlah aku
Pasangan yang beriman
Bisa menemani aku
Supaya ku dan dia
Dapat melayar bahtera
Ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pengasih
Engkau sahaja pemeliharaku
Dengarkan rintihan hambaMu ini
Jangan Engkau biarkan ku sendiri

Agarku bisa bahagia
Walau tanpa bersamanya
Gantikanlah yang hilang
Tumbuhkan yang telah patah
Ku inginkan bahagia
Di dunia dan akhirat
PadaMu Tuhan ku mohon segala

remuk hatiku

ya ALLAH tuhan je yang tahu bertapa sakit nya hati seorang perempuan bile org yg slame ni die syg selingkuh di depan matanya sendiri.. air mata pon x dapat nk bg ketenangan kt hati ni.. pedih sgt rase. slame ni kite percye kan dan bg sepenuh kasih syg tp dy sanggup buat seorg perempuan mcm ni. ape kan daya.. ALLAh lebih mngetahui segala yg tersurat dan tersirat.. semoga ALLAH membalas segala2 nya.. amiinnn~