i let you go

 Everyone has gone, and somehow your are the only one that come along. You make me calm. And that time i know that you're the only one that i need. That one that would make me forget how hurt i was felt before. The one that would wipe my tears away and put a smile on my face. 

But, no one seems to know, how quickly people change. How quickly they always seems to come and go. 

Ups and down happen and someone had come between us. And you walked so easily. At that time i knew that i would never want to lose you as i knew how hurt it is before. I put my self as an option to be choose. Im begging, im crying and i keep blaming my self  what happen and i trying to understand those reason. You let me down so perfectly. Everytime you say good bye i hope that it would not be the last.

But, at that time when you choose me, i felt that i was the luckiest one. I keep talking to my self that you still love me. Without noticing that actually i force you to stay. I hold you too tight and you does not have chance to make your move. I dont even give you to make an option. All i did is just force you to stay. 

But when this time come. I would never hold you as tight as before. Believing that sometimes let go is best decision make me realize that i would never get all that i want even though i know the one that i want is you. 

nowww, i let you go.

Pulau Perhentian

Okay entry ni just nak cerita pasal short vacay time bulan 3 hari tuh. Actually mmg best pergi perhentian ni. But disebabkan beberapa faktor jd tk best. Kami pergi berlima. Maklum la dah konon2 sem akhir nak spent time sama2 la tuh. Okayy. Kami ambik pakej hanan travelling agency which is cost myr315 Per head. survey pun dkt fb je. Tapi.... hemmm. Really dissapointed. Bila sampai pkcik boat tnya nak kena hnta dkt mna. We told him yellow house and die bt muka! Kami trus tnya dia mcm2 and mmg terus takde mood nk pi sana. Yellow house ni rumah kayu yg terletak di perkampungan nelayan actually. Kat situ kampung bkn tmpt perlancongan. Okay then bila sampai kt jeti ee decide nak tuka tempat. Lama tunggu hanan ni bg kami tuka dkt the reef. Then tunggu boat ambik semua pergi the reef. Discuss pasal bayaran die ambik myr275 ak include makanan. Dalam initary before this bnyak sgt activity sebenarnya. Tapi.....apa yg kami dpt cuma sebuah bilik yg dikongsi berlima. Boat pergi balik and snorkling 3 point. Mahal! Yg lain aktiviti kami buat semua kene tambah duit sendiri. Tambang boat nk ke long beach which may cost up to myr30. Tpi awal2 datang dah kenal dgn abg bwak boat so dpt la murah sikit. Mereka jugak la yang bawak kami bersnorkling sampai 2 hari, pergi tngok sunset, bawak pergi long beach. So, for those planning nk pergi perhentian i prefer korang walk in je. Lagi murah. Seriesly beb. Tapi kalau nak ambik pakej make sure pilih betul2.

Ini romantik beach. Cantik sgt tngok sunset utk ambik gamba. 

Untuk sape yg nk release tensyen pergi sana mmg best. ikan2 kat sana pun cantik. Tapi memory i damaged so tak dapat nk belanja gambar2 ikan. Next time maybe. 

2015

First entry for 2015. Dah lama tak bukak blog ni. Dah lebih setahun dah. Tiba2 terdetik kt hati nk berblog semula. Almost a year dah macam2 jadi, diharungi, pahit manis kehidupan macam2 dah rasa. Tapi diri ini masih lagi gagah dan tabah berjalan walaupun kadangkala langkah teraungkur di tengah jalan. Tidak mengharapkan pelangi utk sentiasa muncul namun percaya setiap kepahitan itu ada manisnya. Mungkin tidak selamanya tapi cukup utk membuat diri ini bahagia. Eceh ayattt. Pagi2 macam ni datang ilham pulak kan. Thats all.

trying not to love you

You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?

But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you 

And this kind of pain, only time takes away
That's why it's harder to let you go 
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you
That's why it's harder to let you 
So I sit here divided, just talking to myself
Was it something that I did?
Was there somebody else?
When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears
Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear
Said, I've been dying 

i'm coming back

Rasa macam dah lama gila tak bukak blog ni. Since belajar kt kelantan mmg jarang sgt bukak.this is all about connection problem. 

Okayyy. First of all assalamualaikum. Banyak sangat cerita cerita yg ialls nak cerita kt ualls sebenarnya tapi masih belum ada masa. Hee. 

Okayyyy

Now dunia digemparkan dgn isu MH370. Dan hari nj dah genap sebulan flight tuh hilang. Mcm2 spekulasi yg keluar. But now i just nk share my opinion. 

1. Dr hari mula2 flight hilang kerajaan keluarkan mcm2 kenyataan. Kejap mcm ni kejap mcm lain okay but now after dorg bt kenyataan ended tuh ada lg tak sidang media ? Mcm dah terkubur je.

2. Kalau ikutkan logik. Negara2 yg maju mcm us australia dorg kan ade peralatan kemain canggih tuh takkan tak boleh nk detect. Kalau betul ended mcm serpihan? 

3. Tak rasa ke mcm ada konspirasi disebalik semua ni?  Ye mmg ade. Tpi sejauh mana konspirasi tuh kite sendiri tak tahu. 

4. Kenapa setiap kali bt press conference datuk Najib tuh tk gunakan bahasa melayu? Kesian kt makcik pakcik kt kampung tuh yg nak tahu berita pasal anak dorg ni. Yang duk agungkan bahasa omputih tuh kenapa? 

5. Harga share dalam MAS turun dgn mendadak. Sehingga 24sen per unit. Fikir tak apa effect ni semua? Hanya dengan kehilangam 1 flight mcm2 effect yg akan jadi sebab apa? Sebab malaysia ni stu kuasa yg kecik je sebenarnya. Tkde lah gah sgt mcm yg kite duk tngok dlm tv 3 tuh. Masih dijajah. Masih ikut telunjuk kuasa asing. 

Kesimpulan sendiri buat penilaian. Masing2 ade pendapat mereka sendiri. 

I'm hurt enough

I use to be the girl who would smile at everything and everyone. I use to not care how I looked. That was until you walked into my life. I use to think you loved me but, then you took me and broke me. Now I cry myself to sleep every night and that smile is now just a mask I use to cover up the pain. Now I care how I look every single day. You broke me and I know you don't care.
I see you walking with the girl you replaced me with. You looked at me and you make it looks like we've never met. I looked at you, yes, I see you happy with her. All I can say is I'm Happy for you..those words might come out of my mouth like that, but inside, it kills me how you acts like you don't know me and to see you with someone else.
I don't know how to be the girl you miss, the girl of your dream, future life and the one you would love and take care for a life time. All I know is, I'm a girl that you used to know, you've been used for fun and the only girl who would fall for your foolish bullshit! The girl who could handle all the pain yet screaming inside. What I know is, I'm just a girl who will love you no matter what you've done to me and how much you've hurt me.

that is me

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way Id be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.